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How to Find Unconditional Love in 2023

Amber Murphy

Unconditional love isn’t just some Hollywood fairytale you hear about in the movies. It goes beyond just a simple romantic love into a love that knows no boundaries. A conditional love puts a cap on the love you receive. But that can be kind of toxic, depending on what the boundaries are. A selfless act is what unconditional love is about. With no strings attached, you can experience a love no matter what. There’s no unrealistic expectations because you know that no matter how much love you give another person, you’ll always get it back. But finding a romantic partner isn’t an easy task. In this article, we’ll explore all you need to know about unconditional love, building a healthy relationship, and finding a love with no strings attached.

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What is unconditional love?

Unconditional love is what we consider true love. It could be defined as that everlasting feeling of love and is projected toward the person we love. This feeling is presented unconditionally, though our actions and the acceptance of this other person. This love goes beyond the person’s presence, defects, qualities, and any mistake they may make.

In short, unconditional love is a permanent and transparent feeling that is professed towards a person who is special to us.

We could then say that this type of love knows no limitations or conditions towards the loved one. However, it still has a fine print. Unconditional love can become very painful when the loved one crosses the limits of respect by violating your trust, toxic behaviors, or causing you harm.

First, it is necessary to know how to recognize it so that we do not become victims of such a strong and deep feeling. Instead, we can enjoy the fullness of love without conditions.

conditional love

How does unconditional love work?

Unconditional love has specific characteristics that differentiate it in an evident way from other types of feelings that we can harbor in our hearts towards another person. Different signs can be presented that can indicate that this type of love is present in our lives; whether we feel it or they feel it towards us, it’s a love that is worth living every second. Learn to understand how it works by observing the following characteristics:

1. It’s a realistic and rational love

Far from being a love that idolizes a loved one and puts them on a higher level, it’s quite the opposite. Being a rational love allows us to understand the loved one better. And being a realistic love takes that level of understanding one step further. By loving unconditionally, we can show empathy towards that person, always wishing to put ourselves in their shoes so that their well-being is extended as long as possible. Most romantic relationships start with excitement, but when you meet your true love you’ll have inner peace. Excitement and anxiety are your body’s way of telling you this love isn’t for you. If you don’t notice those signs early on, you’ll begin to realize you have a conditional love in this partnership.

2. It’s a love that is lived with maturity

Talking about a realistic and rational love, automatically makes it a mature love. A love that is based on communication and understanding. Where reciprocity is key, together with emotional intelligence that gives us the ability to solve problems and difficulties assertively, this type of love, allows us to know our mistakes and look for ways to improve them maturely, without looking for culprits. Being able to take ownership for your faults is what makes an unconditional love healthy. But don’t take the blame for something you didn’t do.

3. It is a love based on friendship

Friendship is an indispensable ingredient to genuinely having an unconditional love. It gives us an excellent opportunity for that love to be mutual. When we talk about friendship, we’re talking directly about a relationship of trust. This means that this type of love becomes mutual and lasting when based on trust. If a romantic love starts off as a friendship, you can build a proper foundation with no strings attached. Romantic relationships founded in friendships are more likely to last and experience unconditional love because it happened organically instead of trying to force it. You can learn how to be a good friend in one of our latest articles.

4. It is committed

Love without conditions is based on commitment. This translates into great stability for the relationship. Commitment is a primary ingredient that every relationship must have for it to work and last. This, together with trust and empathy, create the perfect recipe for building a life together. Unconditional love lasts a lifetime provided that both people provide it to each other. If it’s one-sided, it’ll only be a conditional love. A selfless act will need to come from both of you to commit to each other for the rest of your lives. And lives can be long, challenging, and have periods where one person suffers from mental health. But with unconditional love, you go into it knowing that.

5. It is a love based on freedom

Freedom can be vital in defining if we ‘re really in front of unconditional love because it allows us to show how much trust and respect we can feel for the loved one. It translates into loving the person as they are, letting them flow with their personality, without conditioning them or forcing them to give in and become what we want them to be. It’s to love without ties, without possessiveness, and to allow the loved one to live in fullness. You can’t control someone else’s actions or behaviors, all you can control are your own. No matter what, unconditional love is about accepting a person as they are. Conditional love will often mean that there’s something about them that you want to change.

unconditional love

Why is unconditional love ideal for us?

After understanding how unconditional love works, it can be deduced that this love can only be built on a foundation of freedom, trust, and respect to commit to the relationship and turn it into something lasting. This makes it the perfect love for our lives because it will allow us to experience love without conditions and with enough commitment so that it can last for decades.

You should note that unconditional love is ideal for us; it must be healthy, not love full of fears, jealousy, and rules. This can be triggered by what is believed to be the loved one and ceases to be healthy to become an obsession. Therefore, we must know how to find love and then give love unconditionally.

healthy relationship

How to love unconditionally

Acceptance is another key to creating the conditions for unconditional love to exist. Once we accept the loved one, we begin to experience attitudes, desires, and actions beyond love. Unconditional love can transcend beyond sentimentality; it is categorized as “true love” and makes relationships based on assertive communication, constant dialogue, trust, empathy, and respect.

How to find unconditional love

There is no recipe or magic formula we can follow to the letter to obtain this type of love. But it is possible to work on it once we begin to experience feelings for that special person. Here are some tips for finding unconditional love.

1. Look in the right place

Find a person with whom you can enjoy everyday activities and who may have similar interests to yours. For example, you can meet new people by joining groups or clubs that have activities you enjoy. Alternatively, there’s a study by Gunter Sachs where he used data to find out which zodiac signs people were statistically most likely to marry. Despite a few exceptions, most people were most likely to marry their own zodiac sign. People tend to like and build lasting relationships with people like themselves. It’s easy to offer unconditional love to someone you automatically understand.

2. Project maturity

Remember that one of the essential ingredients of unconditional love is maturity. This will help you find a stable, kind, and secure person who responds with the same maturity you project. It will also help you be objective when observing toxic or harmful behaviors to your emotional stability. For the sake of your mental health, being with someone who has the same emotional or logical maturity as you will be key to being understood. If you and your partner are both more logical and are less emotionally inclined, it’ll be easier for you to communicate with each other compared to dating who is more emotionally mature while you’re more logical.

3. Self-love first

It’s well said that if we are not able to love ourselves, we will hardly be able to love others. We must have well-fostered self-love and a high level of self-confidence, which allows us to set appropriate limits. Love can be unconditional, but that does not mean that we have to lose objectivity, we cannot leave ourselves aside. Knowing how to love yourself is key to building a lasting, unconditional love with the right person. No matter what you need to have enough self respect to leave a relationship in which your own needs are not met. Sacrificing your mental health and well being isn’t unconditional love, it’s unhealthy and toxic. Try out this meditation for self-love to practice compassion towards yourself.

no strings attached

4. Keep a balance between feelings and logic

Perhaps unconditional love comes across as a very strong feeling. However, don’t forget that realism will allow you to cultivate a healthy relationship. When you maintain a balance between your heart and your brain, you can find a good person who values what you feel and you will be able to maintain a lasting relationship without compromising your essence and who you are.

5. Set boundaries

In any relationship, setting boundaries is important. Loving unconditionally does not mean that you should put aside your life, your responsibilities, and your commitments. Unconditional love should not transgress them; it is necessary to recognize that boundaries are what can define commitment in a relationship. For your own well being, be clear about the boundaries you set early on in your relationship. Remember, that in all relationships respecting one another is important for unconditional positive regard. Creating relationship goals can also be helpful to ensure that your needs are met, you have healthy boundaries, and you can still offer a selfless love.

6. Communicate effectively

Unconditional love is based on good communication and assertive dialogues. A relationship without conditions is based on being able to have the freedom to express ourselves without fear of judgment. Therefore, it’s a safe place where mutual support and reciprocity should be found. This can only happen if trust is involved; there is a reason why they say that love and trust go hand in hand.


As we have already mentioned, finding unconditional love does not depend on a magic formula or a series of steps to follow to cultivate it. Sometimes it can come into our lives in a subtle, surprising, and spontaneous way. The actual detail is to know how to identify it and not fall into euphoria full of feelings.

Unconditional love is also based on rationality, on the capacity we have to accept and put ourselves in the other person’s place. It is also based on objectivity, in that we can detect unhealthy behaviors or attitudes and get out of them. After all, unconditional love is about cultivating a healthy feeling based on communication, trust, and respect, to build a relationship full of commitment that lasts over time.

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