Relationship goals can help you set boundaries, a stronger support system, and a loving relationship with your significant other. All relationships are made differently with various personal goals. We decided to create a list of relationship goals that help create a stable relationship and get to the root of what matters most for lifelong happiness. After all, not all couples will want to follow traditional paths but still want to be in it for the long-term.
What Does Relationship Goals Mean?
Relationship goals means that a couple has set a high standard of a highly functioning relationship. For example, you might see an elderly couple holding hands on a walk and look at someone and say “relationship goals.” In this case, it would mean that still being affectionate with your partner in old age would be the goal you strive for.
28 Relationship Goals That’ll Strengthen Couples Love For Each Other
1. Communicate Your Needs Well
One of the relationship goals that’s highly important is being able to communicate well. When you disagree, do either of you blow up in anger? Have you ever screamed “you’re not listening to me” only to be told “I am listening!” Most people think communication is merely the act of talking and listening. Believe me, it’s not. Communication is hard. Virtual communication like texting is way harder. When you can’t read tone, body language, or hear exactly how something was said, words on your phone can lead to an argument. If you find yourself having a lot of communication problems, consider reading communication books like Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg. You’ll learn how to better communicate your needs so you can finally be heard.
2. Continue Being Yourself
In the early stages of a committed relationship, you need to have a solid understanding of who you are and continue to evolve as yourself in the years to come. Relationship goals are so important, but if you blend into another person, losing yourself in that relationship will only be devastating. Spend time alone occasionally. Develop your own interests and hobbies. But most importantly, you'll also want to respect your partner's own interests too. If they spend hours playing video games or going golfing with friend, use that time to do something you enjoy doing. While you can occasionally enjoy their hobby with them, don't feel obligated to doing the exact same things they do. You're still your own person, so develop your interests and do them.
3. Respect One Another
Respect is the number one most important value every relationship should have. If you don’t respect each other, the relationship won’t last. Respect comes from communicating your needs well. On a first date, you might lay down what values you look for in a relationship or what your relationship needs are. From there, your partner should provide you with those things if they agreed to them in the first place. Maybe the values you laid out are honesty, a need for affection, being supportive, or any other big value. When you’re out, be present with one another and practice mindful dating. If respect isn’t in your top three relationship goals, things will fizzle out. By having respect for one another, you can both feel safe and comfortable in your relationship with complete trust.
4. Do Little Things for Each Other
One of the relationship goals that make a difference is doing little things for each other. When your partner comes home or walks in the room, what do you usually say? For example, in a loving relationship, a couple might sing an entrance song every time they walk in as an inside joke. Or you might exclaim, "baby, your home!" in an excited tone. It's these little moments that create an emotional and physical connection. You might also help wash dishes if he or she cooks. A daily foot rub, cuddle session, or relaxing sauna time might also be part of your daily routine as a couple. Aim to have little moments where you can celebrate your partner or make them feel appreciated. Thank you's and doing wellness check-ins make a huge difference too when done regularly.
5. Be There In Sickness and In Health
It’s easy to be there for someone when they’re happy, healthy, and thriving. But life throws curve balls at any moment. Sometimes, life hits us particularly hard with multiple curve balls at once. This could collapse a person’s mental health. You might see your happy, healthy, and thriving partner turn into a miserable, sick, and failing person. Can you see past this rough patch and be there for them when they’re not at their best? Will you support them as they go through chemotherapy, depression, addiction, or any other big health challenge? Do you know how to communicate positively with your partner as they face their personal demons to help them overcome challenges on their own. Are you strong enough to pull your significant other out of a dark pit? To master relationship goals, you need to be there for someone throughout life’s entire journey: both the good and the bad. It’s not always easy. Sometimes it’s painful, messy, and toxic. But if you can get through a rough patch, you can get through anything.
6. Get to Know Them Well
While we all live incredibly busy lives, you want to make sure you know your partner really well. There are countless books where you can ask questions to your partner to know them really well. Don't get caught up in the honeymoon phase. Relationship goals are all about building for the long-term. And some people aren't the right fit for you. If you plan to be in a serious relationship with someone, spend a lot of time asking them questions. However, do it formally. You might be ask them if you can play a question game together where you read a bunch of questions from a get to know you book so you can better understand how each person thinks and what they value. Having your partner communicate these things will make your own relationship more functional. By sharing your own feelings, you'll learn if this is the right person to be spending time with.
7. Always Make Time for Each Other
A healthy relationship involves carving out time for one another. With full-time jobs, side hustles, personal goals, family and friend hangouts, and more taking up so much time, sometimes it’s hard to find time to spend with a significant other. You’re totally allowed to have time for yourself. It’s actually encouraged. But if you’d rather work more than 50 hours a week, maybe setting couple goals isn’t right for you. New couples might only see one another on weekends so that they can have dedicated time for themselves and for their relationship. As the relationship develops, a bit more time will need to be invested in the relationship. Remember, just because you live together doesn’t mean that you’re making time for each other. Do you hang out together? Have you been on any dates recently? Are you aware of what’s been going on in his or her life outside of what you see?
8. Build An Asset Together
While not all couples dream of this, there's something to be said about power couples. Being a power couple if one the relationship goals ambitious people strive for. To make this happen, you'll need to build an asset together. You might start a website, an online store, or any type of business. Having something that you build together gives you a shared hobby that you can both have an impact on. For couples without kids, this could give you the same fulfillment you would get from raising kids. It can be difficult at times and there will be many happy moments. Ultimately, if you have a partner you can work well with, building an asset together will be an enjoyable experience. So, add this to your relationship goals list.
9. Set Out Me Time Too
So, we just talked about how making time for each other is an important relationship goal. But let’s talk a bit about your ‘me’ time. You 100% need time for yourself while in a relationship. What are your hobbies? When was the last time you hung out with your friends without your partner? Do you ever set a couple of hours alone to do your own thing? Not only does doing your own thing help prevent you two from becoming a codependent couple which is definitely not relationship goals, but it also helps you grow, invest in your personal growth, and stay true to yourself. Most people lose their identity in a relationship, but you can still be your own person while committed or even married to someone else.
10. Don't Tell People Your Problems
The problems in all relationships start the second you start telling parents or friends the problems in your relationship. The second another person's perception of your partner changes, the relationship is over. Overall, don't tell people your problems unless you're in a dangerous relationship with an abusive partner. Then, by all means, get as much help as possible. But if there are small arguments over not washing dishes or doing household responsibilities, keep it to yourself. So many marriages fall apart because of mother in laws and best friends who are "looking out for you." Unfortunately, they're really not. You might self-sabotage an otherwise normal and healthy relationship just by getting a second opinion. Make sure you're both on the same page about this. Make this one of your relationship goals: solving problems together without third-party interference.
11. Cuddle Each Other Daily
Affection is a component to master when it comes to love goals. In a healthy relationship, physical touch in the form of affection can help strengthen your relationship. This can be everything from a quick kiss on the forehead, a back massage as they play video games, touching your leg as they drive, holding hands, or cuddling for twenty minutes in the morning as you wake up. Often, it takes some time to feel comfortable enough with your partner to feel safe enough to feel affection. Many people who’ve been in traumatic relationships may need a bit more time than usual to feel comfortable receiving affection. So work at the pace that feels safe and comfortable for both of you.
12. Go On A Road Trip Each Year
While an all inclusive trip to Bali would totally be amazing for your relationship, not everyone can afford a big, across the world trip. Especially, if you’ve got kids. Instead, aim for a weekend or week-long road trip each year. If you don’t feel like driving, try a bus tour. The long drives can lead to so many good conversations, fun car seat dancing, and some surprise pit stops to cool destinations. Visiting other states or provinces can be a great way to explore your own country. And if you aren’t travelling too far, the cost will likely be way more affordable than that epic vacation anyway. There’s this level of relationship building that you get from doing a road trip with someone that flying on a plane can’t compete with. You can play car games, ask get-to-know-you questions, sing along to your favorite tunes, and explore your beautiful country.
13. Understand Their Love Language
Relationship goals vary for each partnership. The first thing to learn in the early stages is what your partner's love language is. The five love languages are: quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Your partner likely has one that's bigger than the rest. However, for a stable and healthy relationship don't be afraid to do all five. You can spend quality time together over dinner. You might praise your partner for something they did well. Buying a coffee and breakfast every now and then could be a simple gift you give. Taking out the trash could be one of the things you do weekly that is an act of service. And cuddling, foot rubs, or sex could be how you show a physical connection.
14. Split All Your Costs
From your first date onwards, consider splitting all your costs evenly. Maybe except any pre-existing debt you had prior to the relationship. However, any meals, coffees, rent, bills, or anything else you two share should be split between the two of you. It’s impossible to be in a respectful relationship if one person is footing all the expenses while the other person reaps the perks. From date one to well beyond marriage, you need to work out a system where you both split your costs and expenses fairly. It’s very rare to see a relationship last where there’s only one person paying for all the expenses because eventually the other person becomes a burden.
15. Host A Weekly Date Night
Your own relationship goals should include having a weekly date night. That doesn't mean going out on a date every time, it can happen at home too. Something as simple as watching a movie together with popcorn on the couch can be considered an at-home date in healthy relationships. If you prefer going out, you might do activities, such as playing golf together, heading to a cinema, going to a coffee shop to spend time away from the kids, or going to a restaurant together. You know what dates work best for you, so try to schedule some fun activities for yourselves.
16. Grow Together
The ultimate goal of all relationship goals is to grow together. From the beginning of your relationship to your ten-year marriage anniversary, you are going to change so much. You’re actually going to be a completely different person. You’ll have different goals, interests, hobbies, and even personality. The secret to having a relationship that stands the test of time is to change together. It’s subtle. Maybe you pick up the habit of reading books and ask your partner to come to bed and read next to you before you go to sleep. Or maybe you notice that your partner plays guitar a lot, and you decide to play your favorite instrument: the violin. You might both work on a side hustle together but own different parts of it. You might still read different books, or invest in different hobbies, but there’s a bit of this mirroring that happens when couples grow together. And remember, if your personality changes for the better, particularly in communication and love, that only strengthens your relationship.
17. Be Kind to One Another
Have you ever thought to yourself, “What can I do today to make my partner have the best day ever?” By thinking about your partner’s happiness regularly you can create a more loving relationship with them. Focus on being kind in as many interactions as possible. If you know your partner likes working on a side hustle for long stretches of time, leave them alone for a few hours and catch up with them at a specific time that the two of you set. Maybe you schedule a hangout after he or she focuses on their side hustle in the morning and afternoon one Saturday. Take turns doing chores around the house (and do it without getting asked). Do little things for your partner’s family. Maybe that means decorating your entire house for his or her mom’s birthday and hosting a family party at your place. Maybe that means sending holiday cards to their friends and family so no one on their side is left out.
18. Limit Passion
While you might think lots of passion leads to creating a “relationship goals” relationship. It doesn’t. Passion kills relationships. Why? Because it always starts out strong in the beginning and fizzles out with time. Or worse – you see the flip side of it. By that we mean, a passionate lover is also a passionate hater. So you’ll see huge blowouts when you aren’t getting along. If you notice your relationship started with very little passion to start with, congratulations you’re in a stable relationship. Passion often leads to infatuation instead of love. And most people notice this as they date more people. We romanticize passion in movies but in reality it’s the exact opposite of what we want. That doesn’t mean there won’t be romantic moments in your relationship or moments of loving passion. It just means passion isn’t what sparked the relationship in the first place.
19. Decide How You Progress
The big relationship goals to set in a relationship is the progress you’ll make throughout your relationship. This means figuring out if a happy marriage, kids, and a white picket fence around your house is what you want. Some couples have no interest in getting married or having children, and that’s cool as long as you know deep down you know you aren’t compromising your own goals to stay with someone longer. If neither of you want to get married and have children, great. If both of you want to get married and have kids, awesome. Ultimately, you need to decide together what your future will entail. What are the two of you working towards? What does progress in your relationship look like? Is progress something that even measures your relationship in the first place? You also need to determine if your timelines are off. Maybe you’re hoping to get engaged in a year and your partner wants to get engaged in three years. Make sure you’re on the same page by doing little check-ins throughout your relationship.
20. Do Things for Each Other's Families
Relationship goals aren't just about the two of you. When you get together with someone, their family is part of the package deal. Ask yourself, "what can I do to get his or her family more involved in our lives?" You might plan birthday parties for the mother-in-law, host huge family dinners once a month, or park picnics in the summer for family get togethers. You might also call or do text check-ins on family members to make sure everyone is doing well.
21. Plan a getaway
A list of relationship goals wouldn't be complete without some fun in the mix. Planning a getaway for the two of you can be a fun way to reconnect your physical intimacy, sex life, and open communication. You don't go to bed angry when you're having fun. You can learn how your partner feels about you just by letting your guard down and having some breathing space from the rest of the world. Moving forward, planning an annual getaway can be one of those relationship goals that you do to share your love with your partner, discuss things, and to ultimately stay intimate. So play hooky from work, and travel to an exotic destination for some fun.
22. Determine Where You’ll Settle Down
One of the relationship goals involves figuring out where to settle down. Have you always dreamed of living in the city or the country? Do you plan on living near your parents as they grow older? Are you saving up to buy a house or a condo? Ultimately, coming up with a plan of where you’ll live and by when can be an important topic of discussion as you build your futures together. Sometimes, life will make that decision for you. For example, if one of your parents suddenly dies, you might decide to move to live closer to them for some time. You might even buy a bigger home so they can move in with you. If you’re not in that stage of your relationship yet, remember that these are all things to consider. If you decide to get married, these are important topics to talk about with your partner, especially as your parents grow older.
23. Be their personal cheerleader
To make your bond stronger than imaginable, be your partner's personal cheerleader. When times are tough, support them, believe in them, and love them. A good relationship where you're constantly cheering your partner on doesn't have many arguments, it's just common sense. Being a cheerleader is all about giving pep talks on bad days, high-fiving them when they accomplish a big personal or professional milestone, and supporting them when they decide to embark in different paths. If you're looking to create relationship goals, this should be one of the top things on your list for an emotional one.
24. Try new things together
When you first start dating, everything is new. However, after years of being together, newness starts to fade. And some confuse that with a spark fading. "Relationship goal" couples bring in newness into their relationships constantly. You might inject a new hobby into your life, which changes the dynamic of your coupling for the better. Trying out new restaurants, watching new movies, experimenting with new hobbies, or improving yourself can all be new things you do that impact the relationship. Keep things fresh by pushing boundaries that you're both comfortable with.
25. Work Out Together
As your relationship progresses, your health often gets neglected. This is especially true for take out couples or couples with young, climbing the furniture toddlers. Finding the time to invest in your physical health will help strengthen your relationship. A healthy body weight will increase your fertility, attractiveness, and arousal to your partner. Science says that doing a heart racing activity with someone you find attractive increases your bond with them. And there’s no one more attractive than the person you’re with. Lucky you! Plus, if you invest in your physical health you’ll prevent a whole slew of illnesses, which will keep the relationship easy for a long time.
26. Have Consistent Sex
So, we can’t talk about relationship goals without mentioning sex at least once. Whether you like it or not, sex is an important part of a relationship. It’s the ultimate unification. And while sexual trauma can cause you or your partner to take a while to warm up to one another, eventually, if the relationship is to last you’re bound to do it. A lack of sex can ultimately lead to the breakdown of a relationship. That’s because when couples aren’t connecting anymore, intimacy tends to go with it. So, even if you’re currently married, it’s important to find time to maintain a regular sex routine. Experts suggest having sex every other day. But as long as you’re doing it at least once a week, you’ll be in the normal range.
27. Document Your Relationship
A fun relationship goal to set is to document your relationship. You might save positive messages, movie ticket stubs, pictures from special events, or other sentimental things that remind you of how happy you are in your relationship. Then, when you go through a rough patch and need a reminder of why to hold on, you can review a box of your relationship memories to remember that you've had way more good times than bad times together. One partner or even both should do this to have a walk through memory lane on anniversaries too.
28. Visit a Therapist
Most people assume people only visit therapists when things are going in the wrong direction. It doesn't have to be like that. You can have a united front in couples therapy. It helps to be open and honest with a third-party like a therapist helping you through. And it's always good to have professional help to look at a tough situation from a new angle. Steer clear of bashing each other at therapy. It's a good idea to see a therapist now and then to talk about how to approach certain chapters. For example, if you're starting a family together, seeing a therapist before the baby is born can help you two learn how to navigate the next chapter peacefully. You can find a therapist in many different ways, if you're looking for one.
Final Thoughts
Relationship goals can help strengthen your bond with your partner. You might decide to explore some of the couple goals in this article, or even come up with a few of your own. As long as you’re both respectful and kind to each other, communicate effectively, know what page you’re on, and continue to grow together, you’ll be well on your way to becoming what others call relationship goals.
