Reaching rock bottom can be one of the most devasting experiences that happen to you. In periods where you're surrounded by darkness with little hope or light at the end of the tunnel, you might not know how to recover from the chaos. If you've recently experienced job loss, death of someone you love, fear of going crazy, or a major tragic or traumatic event in your life, you're not alone. Whenever your life is falling apart, there is a proven way to fix and repair your situation so you can find the inner peace, love, and joy you deserve to experience again.
My Life is Falling Apart. Here’s How to Fix It.
1. Invest in learning
When your life is falling apart, it's time to be a patient student again. There are all sorts of life lessons that we face throughout our lives that are meant to teach us and prepare us for future life events. If you've just been through a difficult life event, it's time to learn from the situation. That doesn't mean you did something wrong or that you deserved to experience tragedy. Sometimes, the best lesson is to learn how to go with the flow of life. That might mean learning how to find happiness in the chaos with your world crumbling around you. Watching your life unfold during unpleasant moments can be jarring, but that doesn't mean there isn't something beautiful coming out of this experience. Whether you learn how to go with the flow, how to dance in the storm, or how to love more deeply, you'll find there is a learning opportunity in your experience that will teach you how to better operate in the world. Don't shrink yourself when life goes haywire. You're strong enough to shine in the sun.
2. Get Professional Help
Most of the time, when my life is falling apart, I try to be my own heroine and solve problems myself. But sometimes you're too close to the problem to see the solution. Having a good sounding board, therapist, or wise friend can help you find your way through this rough patch. If you need to find a therapist, family or marriage counselor, or some other mental health professional to get the help you need, do it. And do the work in between sessions. It all pays off, I promise. There's no shame in getting mental health care when you need it. It's better to learn the coping mechanisms and tools you need so you can heal instead of spilling your trauma into all your interactions and making your life more difficult. The world isn't this nasty place. There are so many helpers out there who will want to support you in your recovery. If you don't find that sense of support in your friend group or family, a therapist might be just what you're looking for.
3. Take Care of Your Mental Health
Your mental health is a key ingredient in your success when life is falling apart. Most of the problems in our life are caused by our negative thoughts. They sometimes lead you down rabbit holes causing you to catastrophize and make your situation a lot worse. They can also distract you to the point where you don’t end up taking care of yourself, you simply get worse. And those negative thoughts might be what brought you to rock bottom in the first place. If you suspect your mental health issues stem from something more serious such as bipolar disorder or substance abuse, it's important to find your support system. Treating a serious mental illness can require professional help.
Declutter The Mind will help you live more mindfully and understand your mind better with a growing library of free guided meditation practices, courses, and daily meditation sessions.
Explore Meditation Library4. Let Go of Things You Can’t Control
When life is falling apart, the one thing you want more than anything is the one thing you can’t have: control. You want to make the pain stop. You want to go back to where you were a year ago or ten years ago. You want to freeze time so you can take that second to just cry, scream, or just breathe. But time doesn’t stand still. We can’t bring back people we’ve lost. We can’t force people to stay with us who are desperate to leave. Sometimes it’s even hard to get the screaming voices in your head to quiet down so you can think more clearly. It can be hard to realize this right now, but the chaos your feeling is temporary. Life does get better with time, new habits, and a new environment.
If you find yourself longing for the past, it's important to remember that beautiful moments will still happen in your future but you can't cling on to something that doesn't exist anymore. You can't hide in your thoughts to hold onto the past. You can only move forward. You’ve still got life in you and this moment of suffering will lead you to your journey towards happiness and joy. The world needs you to live in the present in the realm that you can control. Your past mistakes won't haunt you if you choose to learn from them.
5. Do What You Don’t Want to Do
When your life is falling apart, there’s often things you don’t really want to do. Maybe you’re refusing to give in to the reality of a situation or maybe you’re so depressed you’ve stopped taking care of yourself. But the truth is, to get yourself out of this unpleasant situation you’re going through you’re going to have to do those little things you don’t want to do. Like get out of bed in the morning, putting on clothes, taking a shower, making a healthy meal, listening to someone’s nagging requests and fulfilling it, and all that other jazz. Those little things may seem small, but they’re really important steps in building your life back together. It may be hard to do those things, but they’re necessary. Life has a tendency to scream your path to you. It sounds like nagging or repeated feedback. Those are the things you need to do to find happiness in your life. When you do those things people keep pushing you to, you will find the greatest joy in life. When you avoid the nags and pleads of the people around you, it rains chaos and it feels lie your life is falling apart.
6. Take Care of Your Physical Health
When life is falling apart, it’s important to take care of your physical health. That means, cooking healthy meals instead of ordering takeout. That means going for a long walk or run outside to breathe in that fresh air. It also means taking the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator. You could also go to the gym to workout. You can also follow along to online fitness videos and workout at home if you prefer working out at home. By taking care of your physical health, you prevent other potential problems which can cause issues down the road. It's also a good practice to keep your body strong. Another reason why it’s good to take care of your physical health when your life is falling apart is because you can get feel good endorphins flowing through you during exercise. You might not feel it on day one but after consistent daily effort, you’ll start to feel happier.
7. Meditate
When my life is falling apart, I can feel scared to be alone with my thoughts. The mind is a scary place at times. If you're scared to meditate, the best meditation to avoid being alone with your thoughts is a guided loving kindness meditations which helps walk you through how to express compassion to yourself, people you care people about, someone you don’t get along with, and a neutral person like someone you walk by on the street.
Loving kindness meditations aren’t about sitting and deep breathing. It helps give you positive things to think about instead of reflecting on negative thoughts. It’s a really great meditation to practice when your life is falling apart and you’re trying to find a way to bring positivity back into your life. By expressing compassion to others (and yourself), you slowly rebuild yourself back up. And since meditation helps rewire the brain, it helps make you a mentally stronger person over time.
8. Pay Attention to Everyone’s Needs
Most of the time when your life falls apart, it’s because you didn’t notice people’s needs. Fights, breakups, and relationships falling apart are often caused by miscommunication. And even though we’re social beings, we aren’t all the best communicators. And that miscommunication often leads to tension, pain, and frustration. Books on non-violent communication teach you how to listen to others needs and request that your needs be met as well in a way that is not only understood and heard but in a way that doesn’t cause retaliation. In most situations, it's not about winning or losing an argument but ensuring both parties get what they really want.
9. Create A Gratitude List
In a recent article, we shared a mega gratitude list of over + ideas of things you might be grateful for. What makes you feel grateful will be personal to you. However, looking at all of the things that are going well in your life right now can help you anchor yourself into positive thinking. If finding something to be grateful about is too hard, remind yourself that good things will come your way again. You can even make a gratitude list of all the things you're looking forward to appreciating again once this is all over. You might make a list of all of the people who are helping you through this time in your life. You can also create a gratitude list of all the things you've been grateful for in the past and look for things you still have in your life right now.
10. Live in the Present
There are three time periods: the past, the present, and the future. But most people have never experienced the present. They’re replaying memories from the past wishing and hoping they could go back. They’re panicking about the future worrying about what’ll happen to them and wondering if they’ll be okay. But you know what moment you’re safe in? This one taking place right now. Right now, all you’re doing is reading an article about what to do when your life is falling apart. What I love about sharing this moment with you is that you recognized that things aren’t going well and you took action by reading this post. You’ve got so much strength in you to do that. You want to take action, you’re a doer. And doers improve their situation and the world. But that’s literally you're operating your life right now. Extraordinary.
You might be crying while reading this or scared or sad. That’s okay. Things falling apart isn’t really what people want in life. But some of the best moments (in the future) come from things falling apart in the present. A wise person once said, okay it was Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother, he said “Sometimes things fall apart to make way for better things.” And today we don’t know what those better things will be. But that’s an exciting adventure coming your way. So don’t beat yourself up right now, build yourself up instead.
11. Practice Self Care
When the world around you feels like it's caving in and you feel your life falling apart, it's time for self care. Self care doesn't need to be expensive or complicated. Taking a day out for yourself, a day off work, or a weekend alone, where you're indulging a little and spending a little time by yourself is healthy. Certain things like a long hot bath, cooking your favorite food, and catching up on a tv show that makes you feel good, are all simple things you can do to alleviate stress, depression, and just take a break overall from the seriousness of life. Take care of yourself first. Of course, if you have the money and time, you can spend it on your mental health and self care. But it's not required. Far too many people believe improving their mental health with self care means a long vacation overseas or a day at the spa. It can be as simple as going for a walk in nature or listening to your favorite song.
Conclusion
When my life is falling apart, these are some of the things I do to pull them back together. Things may not be going well for you right now and I know this moment feels painful. You just want to zoom into the future to find out if you’ll be okay. And you know what… you will be. Bad moments always pass. So when you finally get that good moment, be sure to appreciate it. Feel it. Love it. Take a snapshot picture in your head. Soon, you’ll be in a better situation. But in the meantime, it’s important that you invest in your healing. May you have the strength to pick up the pieces and rebuild yourself back up. If you'd like to try meditating a bit, you can sign up for Declutter The Mind.
